So as you can probably tell by the title, this blog post is
going to make me look rather hypocritical compared to the last one I posted
about looking after your wellbeing. I know we all have peaks and troughs
throughout life and you’ve just got to learn to just “ride the waves” and any other
unhelpful metaphors I can think of – but sometimes that’s just not possible,
especially if you’re an anxious person. 95% of the time I can deal with the
twinges of anxiety and stress that I feel, but sometimes it can just consume
you.
I like to think I can handle stress quite well and I have
quite a high tolerance to it. My mum always told me that I live life in the
fast lane and I’m either doing nothing or doing 100 things at once. At the
moment with my full time job and studies I feel like she’s probably right. I
thought I was managing well, I’ve been going to the gym regularly (for the most
part) and I’ve even started on a course called ‘Discovering Meditation’. I had
my first class last week and it proved extremely difficult for me to concentrate
on my breathing when I’ve got two assignments and a huge workload in my job
too.
I went to the library yesterday with the thought in mind to
get a good chunk of one of my assignments completed and so I feel like I’m
ready to tap on that keyboard as fast as Bruce Almighty after a cup of fresh
mountain grown coffee from the hills of Columbia. *cue GIF*
But alas, writer’s block came and slapped me in the face and
I was left feeling disheartened and I felt my cortisol levels rising within me
with every read through of the essay question. I ended up walking back to my
boyfriend, Ben’s flat with him and could feel myself getting more and more
irritable and anxious. The sounds of the street performers in the town that
wouldn’t usually phase me were echoing through my head and made me want to run
back to the safety of Ben’s abode. When we got back to his flat I lay on the
bed and just ranted and cried to about how unhappy I felt, how I had no social
life and I felt like a woman on the edge! Having a little cry actually helped
relieve some of the tension I was feeling but I still felt like a failure. I
was so frustrated, I was looking after my well-being wasn’t I? Exercising regularly,
meditating – isn’t this what is meant to make you happy and zen-like?
I realised then that no amount of deep breathing will help –
my workload is just too much. Ever heard of the elastic band metaphor? (just to
throw another one in there ;] ) The elastic band is our brain, and when we are
exposed to a tolerable amount of stress the elastic band just stretches a
little bit and then can revert back to it’s original relaxed shape. However, if
we over stretch the band we run the risk of it breaking or we may be able to
withstand it for a while but eventually it will wear out.
I think this is what had started to happen to me, so I’ve
been thinking of ways I could counteract it. At the moment I tend to bring a
lot of stress from work home with me which I know I shouldn’t and when someone
asks me to do something I just add it onto my list of things to do without a thought.
I’ve decided I need to start being more assertive and to start saying no. It
seems so simple but I am a self-confessed people pleaser so I know I will find
it challenging, but in the long run I need to think about me. It doesn’t even
need to be a direct ‘no’, it could be “ok I can do that for you, but I’m really
busy at the moment so it probably won’t be done until such a time”. So, that’s
my challenge for this week.
I'd like to hear what you think, if anyone does read this.
How do you cope with stress and anxiety? Any advice on how to stop people pleasing
would be gratefully received too!
Lucy x
