Stress and Anxiety Takeover

So as you can probably tell by the title, this blog post is going to make me look rather hypocritical compared to the last one I posted about looking after your wellbeing. I know we all have peaks and troughs throughout life and you’ve just got to learn to just “ride the waves” and any other unhelpful metaphors I can think of – but sometimes that’s just not possible, especially if you’re an anxious person. 95% of the time I can deal with the twinges of anxiety and stress that I feel, but sometimes it can just consume you.

I like to think I can handle stress quite well and I have quite a high tolerance to it. My mum always told me that I live life in the fast lane and I’m either doing nothing or doing 100 things at once. At the moment with my full time job and studies I feel like she’s probably right. I thought I was managing well, I’ve been going to the gym regularly (for the most part) and I’ve even started on a course called ‘Discovering Meditation’. I had my first class last week and it proved extremely difficult for me to concentrate on my breathing when I’ve got two assignments and a huge workload in my job too.

I went to the library yesterday with the thought in mind to get a good chunk of one of my assignments completed and so I feel like I’m ready to tap on that keyboard as fast as Bruce Almighty after a cup of fresh mountain grown coffee from the hills of Columbia. *cue GIF*

But alas, writer’s block came and slapped me in the face and I was left feeling disheartened and I felt my cortisol levels rising within me with every read through of the essay question. I ended up walking back to my boyfriend, Ben’s flat with him and could feel myself getting more and more irritable and anxious. The sounds of the street performers in the town that wouldn’t usually phase me were echoing through my head and made me want to run back to the safety of Ben’s abode. When we got back to his flat I lay on the bed and just ranted and cried to about how unhappy I felt, how I had no social life and I felt like a woman on the edge! Having a little cry actually helped relieve some of the tension I was feeling but I still felt like a failure. I was so frustrated, I was looking after my well-being wasn’t I? Exercising regularly, meditating – isn’t this what is meant to make you happy and zen-like?

I realised then that no amount of deep breathing will help – my workload is just too much. Ever heard of the elastic band metaphor? (just to throw another one in there ;] ) The elastic band is our brain, and when we are exposed to a tolerable amount of stress the elastic band just stretches a little bit and then can revert back to it’s original relaxed shape. However, if we over stretch the band we run the risk of it breaking or we may be able to withstand it for a while but eventually it will wear out.  

I think this is what had started to happen to me, so I’ve been thinking of ways I could counteract it. At the moment I tend to bring a lot of stress from work home with me which I know I shouldn’t and when someone asks me to do something I just add it onto my list of things to do without a thought. I’ve decided I need to start being more assertive and to start saying no. It seems so simple but I am a self-confessed people pleaser so I know I will find it challenging, but in the long run I need to think about me. It doesn’t even need to be a direct ‘no’, it could be “ok I can do that for you, but I’m really busy at the moment so it probably won’t be done until such a time”. So, that’s my challenge for this week.

I'd like to hear what you think, if anyone does read this. How do you cope with stress and anxiety? Any advice on how to stop people pleasing would be gratefully received too!

Lucy x